D —> One time I attempted to yield a pair of scissors and cut my own hair
D —> But the results were
D —> …
D —> Hairy
((early secret santa for my aradia uvu sorry, i’m celebrating christmas tomorrow due to circumstances so i’ll be busy this week! and merry christmas to all my followers who celebrate, if you don’t then just have a nice december! be safe everyone, i love you!))
D —> Wait, since when do I hoove a woman
D —> I mean, she never…
D —> Let me make this sufficiently clear
D —> None of you lowb100ds are privy to my private life
D —> And, err
D —> Hello, Aradia
D —> My robots are as STRONG as ever
D —> And… thank you for forgiving me
D —> In all seriousness, contrary to popu100r belief, I am actually capable of coming in physical contact with something without breaking it
D —> For e%ample, roboti% requires quite a bit of minute detail and therefore a gentle hand
D —> It’s only when I become nervous, angry, or otherwise emotionally agitated that I lose contr001 of my STRENGTH
D —> Unfortunately, contact with other beings is something that especially worries me
D —> So such physical contact is… limited mostly to pouncegreets
Moirails
D —> Allow me to e%plain this in a way that even you humans c001d understand
D —> This is a little long-winded, but bear with me
D —> From what I’ve gathered, your kind is limited by a single romantic quadrant
D —> As it is the closest to our flushed quadrant, it seems you all assume that the flushed quadrant is the most valid one
D —> However, this is not the case
D —> While red and black romances are important to the propagation of our species, trolls generally seek balance among their quadrants
D —> Moirallegiance is linked to pity, but I also believe it can be just as fulfilling as matespritship
D —> A moirail is fated to keep you in check and 100k out for you, and therefore must intimately understand your greatest weaknesses
D —> Some are not as gifted in the realm of moirallegiance as I, sometimes ending up in a relationship where their moirail thinks of them as burdensome or emotionally draining
D —> But I have been blessed with a moirail who cares for me and offers me e%cellent feelings jams whenever I require them
D —> Despite my perspiration, my uncontr001able STRENGTH, my pec001iar interests
D —> Nepeta has always been there for me
D —> And I hope to appropriately return the favor
D —> That being said, I cannot imagine her ever developing red attraction to me
D —> I am interested in someone, and I believe she has her eyes on someone else as well, hopefully a worthy troll of her own social status
D —> IE not Karkat
D —> I suppose if she really wished for a matesprit and there was no one suitable, I w001d consider the arrangement, but it’s highly unlikely
D —> That also being said, I do find my moirail e%ceptionally cute
D —> She’d be cuter if she’d clean up and present herself more properly though
D —> What have we here
D —> Well now, this is rather—
D —> Uh
D —> I
D —> Ummm
D —> I was not prepared for this
D —> All of these hoofbeasts
D —> All of this undeserved affe%ion
D —> And some of this
D —> Uh
D —> Strangeness
D —> Causes me to perspire
